What You Don’t Know about Parking Spaces and Toilets

1. That is Not a Parking Space

I see a lot of things on FB essentially high fiving parking shaming.  I’m sure you’ve seen it too. The shared post that provides evidence through a photo. The photo of someone blocking a car in or drawing new parking space lines with chalk, followed by a “they deserved it” statement. Who deserved what? Why does it matter anyways?  Our family doesn’t do that. In fact, given our circumstance, we have lots of new understanding and/or empathy for others. That understanding encourages us to be sympathetic and not critical of others for lots of things now. We know that we don’t always see the entire picture.

Deep breath…here it goes.  We sometimes park diagonal across two, sometimes even three parking spaces. Yep.  I confess. It’s true.  So one day, we may exit a store or the park and find someone to have drawn new parking lines with chalk, or left a note explaining our ignorance to us, or make the FB post where we are made fun of so to speak.  NOW, part of the picture you cant see…Keith has a wheel chair lift on the side of the van, and until recently you would never have known it (we now have a handicap sticker on the door where the lift is). Having a van with a lift means you can only park in certain handicapped spaces. A lot of times those are full (they have the slashed lines almost the width of another parking space beside them). So, we make our own space by parking diaganol over a few spaces so no one blocks the doors to the lift. Sometimes the picture is bigger than what your eyes can tell you. Sometimes, people just need to park so they can live life the best they can too.

So next time you get angry because of the injustice of someone thinking they are ‘too good’ to park  (and yes, there are folks out there who just park crazy, I am not denying that); take a step back, pause to think, and then just go on with your day, because in reality who really cares?

2. Handicap Stalls in Public Restrooms

There is always that one toilet with the double wide space for wheelchair accessibility in public restrooms. Honestly, I always saw them and used them if no other stall was available and it was my turn. I didn’t think anything about it at all, and then my husband told me this…(keep this image in mind: imagine you have to pee.  Like right now. It’s a full fledged emergency, because MS tells you when to go, and when it says go it means like yesterday)…he and our oldest went into the bathroom and someone was utilizing the handicap stall. OH NO! (Ever peed on yourself in public? Insert sad face). None of the other stalls where being used and the person in the handicap stall did not need to use that one.  I’m not shaming anyone, I’ve used them all the time myself without thinking much about it. I also know that sometimes they put the baby changing stations in those stalls, cool, that’s where you should be then. I’m simply sharing information that maybe you hadn’t thought of because you never had to think of it. And honestly, life is more enjoyable when your pants are dry.

So next time, I ask on behalf of MS’ers everywhere, save the handicap stall for someone with a wheel chair. Even if they don’t say thank you out loud, believe me, they are grateful for your consideration.

MS and other debilitating diseases often teach the average joe (like myself and my family) to change how we do things in order to simply be able to still do them.  While we always try to be considerate of others, we sometimes may look as if we are not. I assure you, that if you add a little sugar to life by overlooking small things like diagonal parking, and add an ounce of thoughtfulness in consideration of others, your life will be a little sweeter and you may just help us (and others in similar circumstance) enjoy a glass of lemonade!

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” —Aesop.

 

the story.

 

So here it is.  The short version of the long story. (ha!)

Keith and I met in high school, way back in 1996. Yep, high school sweethearts (that was the cool thing to do, ya know?).  We have history. A heaping load of history. Some silly, some sweet, some ugly and some sad. I mean, there’s a story there. We all have a story.

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Homecoming, 1996

Ours started out sweet. First date to the arcade with his friends (we were so cool in that back seat). Then, BIG DEAL: Homecoming dance. You all know what I mean; the perfect dress (and mine was perfect), the perfect hair (nailed it), a fly suit (he was handsome), the pictures, the food before, the friends, the laughs….it was all super swell.  I remember the smell of his cologne.  From then on, we were ‘us‘.  We needed no reason to be us, we just were, and we moved forward without caution.

Several dating years sped by as I began college and then he too, soon followed (I’m a year older, he and I don’t talk about it…wink wink). Finally, on June 9, 2001 we were married, and another journey together began. If you are married, and have been for a while, then you know the journey I speak of.

We have built a life in those 16 passing years. Complete with three healthy boys (14, 11, 6) and two healthy dogs (Connelly and Chewy; both boys I might add). We have a small home which is a blessing, as a small home means a small mortgage payment. Shew. We had this 5 year plan, but then the housing market busted and my husband lost his job and all that bummer stuff about being stuck in the small house turned into a big blessing. It’s got something to do with how look at the situation I’m pretty sure (adding a little sugar to this life). Anyways, I digress.

Fast forward.

Today my husband is very sick. He has PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis). We didn’t want this life. It’s sad, and hard.  I mean, geeze, who wants hard? I wanted butterflies and rainbows. Ice creams cones and hot chocolate.  I did not want hard…or sad…or frustrating…or….(there are a slew of adjectives  I could put in here, but I’m betting I don’t have to, because you know already).  We have a hard life.  I sometimes refer to it as a “Debbie Downer” life.

Ok, so lets finish this post up real quick.  When I boil it all down to its core, I come up with the same thing. Life is life for everyone.  It doesn’t play favorites. There is someone sitting somewhere upset about something. And maybe it looks small to you or to me, but a struggle is a struggle. I often think of a quote by Regina Brett. She said “If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.”  I feel like that’s a pretty true statement, and I don’t like our problem.  Just saying.

 

“…Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forgotten Lemons

Ok, ok, ok. I’ll be honest. Our life isn’t always Lemonade. I wish I could say it were but, sometimes (a lot of times), I find a shriveled up lemon lying in the strangest places. I find them in the corner, under the couch, and even tucked away in the dresser drawer. It’s true. Sometimes life deals me lemons (throws them at me super fast) and instead of adding sugar to them,  I hide them or just plain ignore them hoping they will disappear. The thing is, they NEVER disappear. They just sit there shriveling up and then start to stink until I do something with them. Ugh. BUT IT’S SO MUCH WORK TO MAKE LEMONADE SOMETIMES! Do you feel me, or what?!

Flashback:

There were many beautiful days.  Tons of them. Lemonade was aplenty and it was always super sweet and SUPER EASY to make.  And then…BAM! SMACK! POW! (Well that’s certainly what it felt like at the time), my husband was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis.  AKA-MS. This was a life changer (literally and figuratively and vice versa). I had been a stay at home mom for 10 years. Raising our three boys, running the household, cooking the meals.  If I close my eyes and sit really still, I can taste the sweetness of those days. Sometimes the memories escape as tears and I have to remind myself that I still have three incredible boys and a loving husband even though so much has changed.  Those days are in my treasure box.

So, there’s a Lemon (or a lemon tree😉). It’s not sweet. It’s sour, and spoiled, and moldy and well, although we’ve tried and tried to make lemonade with that lemon, it seems to be the never ending lemon that we can’t quite figure out how to get rid of.  Yep.  It nags us, and sometimes I find it rolling around under the sofa…and its moldy,  like fuzzy moldy with old hairs and dust bunnies on it. But, it is our lemon and it’s never going away. That was 4 years ago that we got the diagnosis.

I hope you will join us on our journey, as we add sugar to this life, and enjoy a tall sweet glass of lemonade.